things can never be the same now!
Hello bearblog! It’s been a few days and a week (?) since my birthday. I suppose I am officially an adult… but I don’t feel like one. I feel mentally stunted. It feels like there are things I’m meant to know by know, and things I’m supposed to be finding out by now.
Am I insane? Is there something wrong with me? I think there is. I haven’t gotten my life figured out by now and a good chunk of my peers have! I should’ve gotten at least half of my goals completed, but yet I haven’t.
Am I a failure? I know I said prior that I’m not, but it feels that way. I feel like I’ve let my younger self down. She thought I would be moving up in the world once I turned 18, gone to college and met a guy (or maybe even a girl) that I could share my life with, maybe even finish school with them and own a house together. but yet i haven’t done anything.
Time moves so fast, I couldn’t even process my age——let alone my emotions. I feel like a shell of what I shoulda been, what I would have been if I just had time… If I just had time.
I think my clock is almost running out. I think my time here is almost over, and I’ll be dead soon. And I will have achieved nothing.
Is it truly over? Will my life just be a grain of sand in a desert?