mundane

Can we switch?

Sometimes I see my friends talk down about their bodies.  I hear them talk about  how much they hate their bodies…  Yet.  I Feel envious of them. They are healthy looking and  strong. I am a disgusting twig.

I hate my body.   I can’t stand looking at it.  I hate looking in the mirror, in fear of staring too long at my Boney Body.   i look so small I look ill. I wish I was bigger. I wish I didn’t  look like I was starving constantly.  Every Time I look down I get  disgusted with myself. I hate how I look. I hate how  my body is.  I feel hideous. I don’t understand how my mother and grandmother  try and tell me my shape is beautiful,  it is not.

Being small is AWFUL! I WOULDN’T WISH IT ON ANYONE!  I FEEL LESSER THAN MY PEERS!  I FEEL UNDERDEVELOPED! When I put my legs together, they hurt. It’s just bone on bone.  It’s So Hard and Painful.  And I always wonder to myself, ‘how could anyone find  this  attractive?’ I feel so vile. All the girls my age look so beautiful and yet  I’m here. I look so ugly.

I feel like  I’m Missing something.  Like During puberty something happened and I Just  Didn’t grow right.  I Feel improper. I can’t explain it.
I Wish someone could Take my Body. Take it and Destroy it.
Switch it With a Body that matches my Age and doesn’t feel like Bone on Bone,
I Wish I looked as Pretty as The girls who are fuller and Bigger than me.  I don’t understand How Skinny is the standard  for beauty,  it’s not all that great. At least for me.